Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize