Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
