I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
