So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
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