so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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