I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
