i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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