You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
