I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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