I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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