So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize