I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
