Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
there is glitter all over my balls
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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