did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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