if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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