So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
