Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
