Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
