He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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