I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
