im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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