ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
