FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
