Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
