I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
