just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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