shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
