Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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