Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I love having hate sex.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
