I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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