Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
