there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
