i just wanna soil my oats bro
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
