Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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