i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
