Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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