When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize