I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
