her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just want nice things and good sex
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
