I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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