Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
