glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
