2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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