There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
