3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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