Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
