We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
