I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Randomize
