My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
When are your genitals available?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
