I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
