So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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