Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
