this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
