Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize