I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
