did you get engaged???
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
