just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
