do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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