Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
