It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Randomize
