What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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