I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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