Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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