he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
