either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
