It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
