I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
