Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
