Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize