The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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