Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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